The End of Dreams: Dreamland in Peril
by Kaviar
Summary: Kirby just wanted to have some potatoes. What happened next would lead him through betrayal, conspiracy, and a reunion with old allies and foes.... Now we follow George's story! What will be revealed? ch. 9!
1. Prelude to a bad time

A long, long time ago, in another universe, on a distant star, in a distant atmosphere, in a distant continent (next to a distant ocean, which had a distant beach, with distant clams, and some rocks, but the rocks were actually quite close), in a distant field, with lots of distant grass, which was a distant shade of green, if you looked at it just right, there was…

NOTHING!

Kirby woke up. "Man, all that nothing makes me _hungry_!" he exclaimed. He fell out of bed with a _thwopp!!_, and rolled over to the door. After a few minutes, he realized that he could not open it by staring at it, and made a halfhearted effort to reach into the air to grab the doorknob, and pull the door open. After several fails, he finally got up, and opened the door. Exhausted from all this effort, he fell asleep. When he woke up, he climbed through the doorway into the hall, and took a short nap.

When he woke up, he was now fully awake. He sat up (or should I say stood up?) and walked towards the kitchen. Being Kirby, he needed a snack. He opened a jar of potato concentrate, and poured the contents into a glass of milk.

But there was no potato concentrate inside! Instead, out plopped Kirby's friend, a rather squished (and now, quite soggy) green waddle dee.

"George!!!" Kirby shouted, "What the hell do you think you're doing? I _NEED_ my artificial potatoes!" Anime-style storm clouds gathered above Kirby's head. George crossed his stubs/arms.

"Kirby, there's no such thing as potato concentrate! _Anyone_ knows that artificial potatoes are a myth! Besides, potatoes were banned from the kingdom several years ago by the King, Dede… Uh, De." George tapped his foot impatiently.

"Then why was there a jar of it on the counter?"

"Obviously, it was a distraction."

"Who would need a distraction?"

"Obviously, the guys who are tying a sack over your head."

Kirby would have responded with 'Who's tying a bag over my head!?', but all that came out was "Fhummp fyink fu baff offur muh heff!?" Something hit Kirby in the back of the head/body, and he felt himself losing consciousness.

The last thing that Kirby saw was George, smiling at him… EVILY!!!

Kirby woke up in a dark room. The room was very dark. Well, it was dark to the extent that Kirby could not see. Kirby didn't like the dark, so he opened his eyes.

The room (like magic!) became less dark, and Kirby could see. _The wonders of modern science_, Kirby thought to himself.

Kirby examined his surroundings. The room was quite big. Actually, it was only big because Kirby was small. It was completely bare, except the mat that Kirby lay on. Oh, and Kirby.

The room had one door, painted red, and made out of metal. It had one slot in it, through which Kirby could see the back of the waddle doo guarding the room. The waddle doo, after hearing Kirby awaken, turned to look at him. Kirby threw a potato at his eye.

"OW!!! Who throws a potato? And where did you even get that!?"

"Umm, my pockets?" Kirby said.

"LIAR! You don't have any pockets!"

"Yes I do, right here in my mouth! Care to take a look?"

"Why, Yes! Yes I do."

--- OBVIOUS SEQUENCE ---

Now that the guard was taken care of, and the door was left open, Kirby stepped outside of the room. He was in a hallway, which had two doors on the other side. One said "To the King" and the other said "To not the King". Kirby decided to see the king, and after pondering over which way to go, he took the door that said "To the King". He opened the door, and walked up several flights of stairs. He came to a large wooden door with the letters "Here be the king" inscribed upon it. He opened it.

He passed into a courtroom, filled with Waddle Dees, Bronto Burts, Scarfies, and little apples that danced when you shook them up and down and sang "Puff the magic dragon" while sitting on an acorn. Luckily, the apples mentioned above did not exist, and Kirby didn't feel like making non-existent apples start dancing.

On the throne was King Dedede. De. Dedade. Doo bop, ba dee da, do-dot, do-daaah! But I digress. Degress. Doogress… sorry.

King Doot-da-doot stared at Kirby unbelievingly. There was silence for several minutes, only being broken by the occasional not talking.

"Boy, whudda_HEEEEEEE_eeeell yoo doin' here? Ya gots a lotta nerve, comin' back here again," The king shouted. Kirby stared at him in appuzzlementation. (yes, I said appulzzlementation. Live with it, grammar police.) _Didn't he bring _me_ here?_ Kirby thought in Italics.

"Didn't you bring_me_ here?" Kirby repeated, sans italics.

"Wha?"

"Didn't you make George distract me, so that you could have your servants put a big baff- sorry, _Bag_ over my head? Why else would I be here! I'm gonna _KICK YOUR ASS!_"

The king stared at Kirby. No, he had not sent for Kirby, and no, he had not ordered anyone to put a bag over Kirby's head. Who would dare to do such a thing without first obtaining the king's consent? Suddenly, without warning, and without a two-week resignation notice, it came to him, like something very sudden and unexpected comes suddenly and unexpectedly to someone who is not expecting anything to come. (_whew! Take a breather, people. I hope you weren't reading that out loud!_)

"Uhh… Kirby, I didn't send for you, but I think I know who did. Uh, I gotta… go… now… 'mmkay?" The king scooted out the door faster than you can say '_Hey, what do you think that you're doing?'_

"Hey, what do you think that you're doing?" Kirby yelled, but the king had already scooted out the door. As previously inferred. All of the king's minions in the room stared at each other. It didn't take long for the fight to begin.

A scarfy flew at Kirby, knocking waddle dees out of the way. Kirby neatly sidestepped, and inhaled at the scarfy. The scarfy immediately grew long fangs, and made a beeline straight at Kirby, who ducked behind a panicking Bronto Burt. The Scarfy charged right through the Bronto Burt, who exploded in a little _pfoof_.

Kirby repeated this tactic over and over again, making a minion stand in the way of the charging scarfy, who time after time smashed into them in its blind hatred of Kirby. Soon, only the scarfy remained in the room with Kirby. Fortunately, by this time the Scarfy had calmed down, and floated peacefully a few feet from the ground.

Kirby looked around. The door behind him was locked, and he didn't see another door. He looked up at the wooden rafters, and saw a small glassless window… in which a dark figure stood!

The shadowy entity studied Kirby for a moment, then jumped away. Kirby gave chase, and headed for the window. He looked out of it, but could see no one. He was startled to see that it was night outside. _How long was I unconscious? And more importantly, how did I get there? And why didn't the king know about my arrival? What was George thinking when he betrayed me? Is he behind this whole thing? Where did the King run off to? When will I stop asking pointless questions that won't be answered in this chapter? WHO WAS THAT SHADOWY FIGURE???_

To Be Continued…

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Kirby is © Nintendo

Hope you guys like it. Don't worry, I know where I'm going with this. All will be revealed…


	2. Almost a bad time

Kirby jumped out the window, and floated to the ground, and saw that he was at the edge of a forest. "Damn me, and my faulty sense of direction! I think I should know by now which way home is, right? I mean, this is like the thousandth time I've been to Dedede's castle, right? What do I do…" Being Kirby, he decided to go get a snack, which happened to be one of his favorite pastimes.

He stepped into the forest, and began looking for an apple tree. Usually, wandering aimlessly in a forest and trying to find a giant apple tree got Kirby into trouble, but Kirby was hungry, and didn't think of that. Sucks to be you, little pink spud.

Kirby saw an apple tree in the distance, and a rather large one at that. "Gee, I hope _this_ one doesn't try to kill me by shaking apples at my face! Well, I'm sure that this tree is perfectly safe, so I'll just _gooooooo_ _uuuuup_ _tooooo_ _iiiiiiitttt_, _aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnddddddd--_"

_Wham_! Kirby Roundhouse kicked the tree as hard as he could. "TAKE THAT, YOU EVIL TREE!!!" He shouted. He braced himself for the inevitable attack of the tree, which was surely evil.

…

The tree did not attack him, nor spit puffy things at him, nor shake apples of doom at him, nor make menacing faces, nor do a little polka dance, nor explode. It merely sat quietly, doing tree-things, like all good trees are taught to do in school. Tree school.

An apple fell from the tree, not at Kirby's face, but into the ground… like all good apples should.

Kirby shrugged, and took a bite of the apple.

He took another bite of the apple.

He took another bite of the apple.

He took another bite of the apple.

He took another bite of the apple.

He took another bite of the apple.

He took a bite of his hand, before realizing that he had already eaten the apple.

Kirby decided to start looking for a way back to his house. He was going to _kick George's ASS_!!! That is, if George was really behind this. Kirby had known George for such a long time… How could he do this to him?

Kirby and George first met years ago, while trying to stop the Dark Matter from taking over the universe. George, at that time, had been colored a vibrant red, like all Waddle Dees. Kirby had saved George from the dark matter, and George had been very grateful to him. Later, George had saved Kirby from drinking a glass of pure, concentrated evil juice at the Green-Green Juice bar.

Kirby sat under the tree for a long time. _What could have made George do that to me? What if that wasn't George at all? Yes, I'm sure that the _real_ George would never have done that to me… Why was I brought there in the first place?_

Kirby awake to the sickening sensation of being licked. He opened his eyes… to see a large muscular tongue wrapping itself around his head/body!

"AAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!" screamed Kirby as he bit the tongue as hard as he could. He heard something squeal in pain, and the big pink tongue retreated quickly from him.

_Where have I tasted that taste before?_ Thought Kirby. "Oops…" he muttered to the squishy blue blob sitting next to him, who was nursing his wounded sticky tongue. "Sorry, Gooey."

And indeed, it _was_ Gooey, Kirby's long-time friend and ally. The blue blob and he were old friends, and it was Gooey who had risked his life in the heat of battle for Kirby's sake, back when the dark matter first invaded dreamland. With the help of Gooey, a hamster, a cat, a fish, an owl, a useless little bird and a really weird, possibly sex offending, pink cross-dressing jelly blob, Kirby had stopped the advance of the Dark Matter… At least for a while.

"OWTH, Kirby! Tha' realleh hurth!! Wha' a way tuh gweet an ol' fwend, you ath howe!!"

"Hey, it's nice to see you too. Umm… why were you licking me in the first place?"

"…"

"if you don't tell me, I'll think it's really, _really_ creepy…"

"… you tathte wike potatoeth…"

"oh."

After an hour of talking, Kirby had explained the mysterious events that had happened to him in the past few hours. Gooey was as perplexed as Kirby was. Living in the woods, he was almost never involved in the goings-on of the kingdom, except when it needed to be saved.

"Well, Kirby, I happenth tuh know a way out uh theeth woodth. I can tack yoo back to tuh gween gweenth, but that'th ath far ath I goeth." And so, Kirby and Gooey thet off fow gween gwee- I'm sorry, _set off for green greens_ right away.

Little did they know that they were about to be caught up in a situation more dire, and more… evil… than ever before.

As they walked away, their eavesdropper opened one eye. He had overheard all, and they had not suspected a thing. "All is going according to Master's plan", he said, and shook an apple off his branches, letting it fall a foot away from his trunk. An unsuspecting scarfy came along, spied the apple, and was about to bite into it, when a large tree branch smashed into his head, and the scarfy knew no more.

The next day, there was no apple tree in that part of the woods… and no scarfy.

"All will fall before the master…"

_TO BE CONTINUED!!_

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Kirby: What do you call elementary school for trees?

George: Shut the hell up.

Kirby: … no, that's not quite right.

Sorry for murdering the English language… maybe Gooey should talk in pig Latin?


	3. Welcome to a bad time

It was evening, and the sky was a beautiful golden amber color.

King Dedede hurried along the long and winding dirt road that lay before him. His hammer in hand, he was heading straight for the battleship _Halberd_, which was currently docked in the green greens… Right next to Kirby's house! "Just what I expected… it was Metaknight!" DDD roared. He charged onward.

The mighty battleship stood a good half-mile high, armed to the teeth with laser cannons, turrets, and even an industrial strength potato-pellet gun. _What is it with this place and potatoes?_ DDD thought as he headed straight for the loading ramp.

Inside of the loading area were two muscular meta-knight warriors, one wielding an axe, the other wielding a mace. Both were reclining on a crate of food goods, their weapons not employed. DDD shouted for them to move "the hella outa mah way" but instead, they took out their weapons and pointed at the fat blue penguin.

"We are not to let anyone see Lord Metaknight," said axe, in the usual stiff fashion of the meta-knight warriors, "for he has requested such. We can not disobey his orders." Mace merely grunted.

DDD shook his hammer in frustration. "If yall don't _move_, I'm-a gonna beat yer brains out!" He raised his hammer, preparing to fight. "No one captures Kirby without my say-so, and no one mocks me!"

"I don't understand what you mean," axe replied calmly, and rested his hand on his axe handle.

"You know exactly what I mean! Yall brought Kirby inta' my castle… To mock me!" DDD shouted. "He's up there right now, that big fairy-boy, laughin 'is ass off at me! I gonna _KILL_ that **[EXPLETIVE**!!!"

"I do not comprehend, your majesty, but if you continue to threaten Sir Metaknight, I will be forced to… quiet you." Axe said, nearly whispering the last part. It was time for battle.

He slowly unhooked his axe from the clip on the back of his armor, and with an awesome _Schka-king!_ sound, he took up a defensive stance. Mace slowly raised the handle of his weapon, and began to swing the spiky ball at the end of the chain in a circle around his head.

"_STOP!!!!"_

The cry came from above, on the surface of the _Halberd_. A dark silhouette dropped against the amber horizon. The figure jumped high into the air, and slowly glided to the ground as its cape turned into a pair of long wings… Metaknight.

Indeed, the fighting _did_ stop, just long enough for everyone to stare at Metaknight's awesomeness. The effect was ruined when one of the wings caught a warm air current, and he was flipped upside down, almost plummeting the entire distance from the sky to the ground, but catching himself at the last moment.

The swordsman's feet had barely touched the ground when DDD's hammer flew at his face. Metaknight dodged backwards, and Axe and Mace flew at DDD. With one mighty blow, DDD hit both of them, and sent them flying. They landed in the dirt, unconscious.

Metaknight launched himself at DDD, spinning rapidly, and creating a mini-whirlwind. DDD had seen this move before; at this speed, Metaknight's sword could pierce any material on earth. "The MK cyclone…" DDD muttered. He now had no choice.

DDD used his Ace in the hole: He opened his mouth and inhaled… big time.

_WHOOSH!!!_

Metaknight couldn't react to this fast enough. He was pulled into DDD's mouth, and spit out at high speed straight into the air.

To DDD, the battle was already over. Metaknight, stunned by the attack, was helpless as he fell downwards… directly into the path of DDD's hammer. "_HOME RUN, BITCH!" _DDD cried out, as Metaknight went sailing into the slide of the _Halberd_.

"_NOW,_ mistah fancy pants, you gonna tell me what you was thinkin!" DDD shouted. "Why did you capture Kirby and bring him to my castle?"

"_Gasp, gasp,_ what, _gasp_, do you mean?!?"

"Kirby came inta _my castle_, claiming I had sent someone to fetch him. Well, _I didn't!_ so.. it must have been you."

Metaknight stared at DDD for a minute, then raised his fists in anger, and shouted:

"_NOOOOO! Dreamland is DOOMED!!_"

_TO BE CONTINUED!_

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Kirby is © of Nintendo

Oh noes! What does Metaknight mean? And if Metaknight didn't set up the kidnapping… who did?!?

Kirby: The answer was TREE-SCHOOL!

George: Doncha' go and make me put _another_ bag over your head!

Kirby: … you're no fun…


	4. The Origins of a Bad Time

Metaknight stood slowly, resting on his sword. DDD waddled over to him, and lifted him off the ground by his cape, bringing him to eye level.

"What the _hell_ are you talkin' about?" DDD said.

Metaknight sighed. He took a deep breath… and began to talk.

…

When he finished, both DDD and Metaknight stood up, and went inside the _Halberd_. The ship took of silently, and flew towards DDD's castle at hyper speed.

Meanwhile in the forest…

Kirby and Gooey were walking to the Green Greens. The only thing that kept Kirby walking was thoughts of food. He wanted to go home, kick George's ass, and eat a nice plate of beef, salad, ham, eggs, potatoes, cheese, pizza, and… you get the idea.

Gooey's tongue had healed, and he was almost understandable. After an hour, they saw something strange in the distance. A large silhouette rose silently above the trees, towering over the two wanderers.

"Hey, isn't that Metaknight's starship?" Kirby asked. "Why is it way out here?"

"Gee, Kiwby, I dunno. Maybe we thould go an' invethtigate!" Gooey happly exclaimed.

"Gooey… that's always gotten us into trouble In the past. What makes you think that something won't go horribly wrong? Haven't you learned anything about the past? _How many times_ have we gone to 'just take a look,' and ended up fighting for our lives? Gooey, I- _HEEEYYY!!!_"

Gooey was already happily bouncing towards the ship. "I hate it when he does that…" Kirby muttered. "Oh well… Maybe I can get some food." His mind full of thoughts of delicious potato salad, he decided that a little adventure wouldn't hurt.

Kirby ran to catch up to Gooey, who had already reached the base of the ship. As he got closer to the warship, Kirby noticed the ship had gotten a new paint job. It was now gray and black, and had a new emblem on the side. _Hmm_, Kirby thought, _that doesn't look right_…

When he arrived, he noticed that Gooey was standing very still, and very quiet, staring at something perched on the bow of the ship. Kirby slowly followed his gaze, and his eyes locked on to a dark shadow.

The sun was directly behind whatever was sitting on the ship, casting its features into darkness. The thing on top of the ship hadn't seen them yet, and was quietly staring off into the forest.

Kirby warned Gooey to stay out of sight, inhaled, and floated silently behind the unaware being, and gently set himself down a few feet away from it. Kirby slowly walked up to it… and hit him with a potato. The figure cursed, and looked behind him. When he saw Kirby, he stood up, startled.

Kirby could now see exactly who the mysterious person was: Shadow Kirby!

Kirby had first met Shadow Kirby on his trip to the mirror world. He and Shadow had fought, both thinking that the other one was the enemy. After the defeat of Dark Mind, Kirby and Shadow Kirby shared stories, and found that they were both on the same side. Shadow Kirby and Kirby's three clones stayed in Mirror World and helped guard it from an assaulting brigade of potato references. Kirby left soon afterwards, but not before being infected with the dreaded "Potatitis," a condition involving a person not being able to control frequent references to potatoes… Like turrets syndrome, but more Irish.

"Shadow! What are _you_ doing here? I thought you were the guardian of the Mirror World!" Kirby blurted.

"Kirby! I finally found you! I've been looking for you for days!" Shadow cried out happily. Kirby, Dark Metaknight is loose in your world, and you've got to help me stop him! This is his ship, but there's nothing inside but crates and boxes."

_Things are starting to come together_, Kirby thought.

"So it was _you_ that I saw outside that window at King Dedede's palace!" Kirby said. "_You_ kidnapped me, didn't you! Why, I oughta' punch you in the face!!"

Shadow Kirby stared at Kirby with a puzzled expression on his face. "What are you talking about? This is the first time I've seen you since you left the Mirror World. By the way, who is King Dedede? I don't think I've ever heard of him before."

_Never mind_, Kirby thought. _I'm still confused._

Kirby remembered that in the Mirror World, there _was_ no King Dedede. In fact, during his time there he hadn't seen any evidence of a ruler at all. He explained to Shadow who Dedede was, and his many encounters with him.

"So," Shadow continued, "you thought I kidnapped you or something? What was _that_ about?"

"Someone pretending to be my friend George had me kidnapped and brought to Kind Dedede's castle… and the weirdest part is, king Dedede didn't know anything about it at all! It was like-"

"_Hewwo, up thewe? I'm thtiww down hewe! Kiwby? Do you need hewp up thewe? I'm getting weawwy bowed!!_" Came a cry from down below.

"OH CRAP! I FORGOT GOOEY!" Kirby shouted. "GOOEY, DON'T HURT YOURSELF!!"

"_AAAAAahhhh! I HIT MY TONGUE WITH A WOCK, AND IT WEAWWY HUWTS!!"_

"_OH GOD GOOEY, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!"_

"_I DON'T KNOW!_"

Kirby jumped off the Mirror _Halberd_, and ran to Gooey. Shadow Kirby watched in appuzzlementation.

"Every time I hang out around Kirby," he said to himself, "I have the strangest urges to make an allusion to the book _50027 Potato Recipes for Swedish People_…" Weird. He went off to follow Kirby.

_TO BE CONTINUED!!!_

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Kirby and all related stuffs are © of Nintendo.

Ooooh, what's going to happen? Did Metaknight kidnap the kirbster? Was it really George behind the whole thing? FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER!


	5. Oh yes a very bad time

At the same time…

Metaknight and DDD arrived at the castle. They hurried inside to find that the castle's interior had been wrecked. Tables were overturned and doors were broken.

"He may not have had time to make the antidote! Without the antidote, his plans will be put to an end! We must hurry. Tell me, which way did Kirby come from?" Metaknight said while running through the courtroom.

By a process of trail and error, Metaknight and Dedede were able to figure out which room Kirby had been kept in. (Actually, there was a potato lying outside of the door.) They rushed inside and saw what Kirby had seen when he had woken up: an empty room with a mat in it. The floor was made of stone, and upon closer examination, the stones could be lifted out of place.

With Dedede's amazing strength they were able to lift the stones one by one until they found what they were looking for: A trapdoor. It was locked, but Dedede produced a key, and opened the bolt.

There was a ladder inside. They slid down it, and came to a stop in a laboratory.

DDD was shocked. "Y'know, I had only had this place made so I could fiddle around wi' makin' a bomb! I didn't really think it was _useful_ or nuthin!"

"Apparently, you were wrong." Metaknight replied.

They searched the lab until they found what they were looking for: a test tube filled with a milky white fluid in it.

"This is it. If he doesn't have this, He'll be infected too. He can't attack without a complete guarantee of safety. At least now we know why he brought Kirby here. Although we've foiled his plans for the moment, we still need to be on guard. He has inside information to the layout of your castle. Dedede, this was an inside job."

"_WHAT??_ IMPOSSIBLE!" the king roared. "I test everyone of my henchmen for loyalty before I hire them!"

"How else could he have gotten the key to the trapdoor, or known about this room? How could he have brought Kirby here and kept you from knowing? I bet he even posted a guard at the door! You've got a mole on your hands, and he's powerful. Look at all your well-respected bosses: he's probably one of them… someone who's been around for a long, long time."

"GASP!" gasped the king. "GASP!"

"You already said 'gasp'."

"I know. That second gasp was a double take."

"Whatever you say, my lord."

"We'd better warn the pink retard, Metaknight. He'll be attacked again, once our enemy figures out he don't have the antidote no more."

And so, penguin and mysterious warrior guy set off to warn the pink retard. Little did they know they were being watched…

A green waddle dee watched them through a pair of binoculars…

"Damn it!" he cried. "They stole it! Now I have to capture Kirby all over again! Damn them! Damn them all to _HE double hockey sticks!!!_"

"Whoah…" the gray-masked figure sitting next to him said. "No need to curse. We're close to the end, now. This is just a minor setback. _This_ time, I'll make sure he _doesn't_ escape…" The red eyes behind his mask flared bright with anger.

"He defeated me once, in my own world! I had thought that the _real_ Metaknight would be my biggest concern… Dark Metaknight will not fall to Kirby again!

Next time… I'll get rid of that annoying pest, Kirby, once and for all!"

_TO BE CONTINUED!!!_

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Kirby and everything is © of Nintendo

Aha! Things are really starting to heat up now. What will happen next? Stay tuned and find out!

Kirby: So, Shadow, why isn't the Mirror world a perfect copy of my own?

Shadow: Gee… that's a really strange ---

--WHOOSH!!—

Kirby: _What was that?!?_

Nintendo: The sound of plot holes being closed. Here's a peanut, now shuddap!

K and SK: OOOHH, PEANUT!


	6. A bad time to be a sword knight

Prepare to be un-confused! It's exposition day in dreamland!

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Kirby and Shadow Kirby were discussing where Dark Metaknight might strike. King Dedede's castle was the logical place to investigate, since that was where Kirby had been taken. It was now generally agreed upon that it was Dark Metaknight who had kidnapped Kirby, although the reasons for the Kirby-napping were still unclear.

The three adventurers set off, two walking, one bouncing. It was not long before they realized that they would need some rest. Shadow Kirby had not eaten or slept since he came to this world, and that was yesterday. Kirby had not eaten in god knows how long, and he was starving.

Shadow and Gooey decided to look for an apple tree.

"Does _anyone _here remember what happens to me when I encounter an apple tree?!?!" Kirby shouted.

"Umm… No." was Shadow's response. Gooey would have said "APPLETH!" but he got his head stuck in an apple tree, and was in too much pain to respond.

"Hey look, an apple tree!" blurted Shadow, and ran towards it. _I thought he was supposed to be my opposite!_ Thought Kirby. Kirby set off after Shadow, who was trying to pry Gooey out of the tree's mouth. Wait,_what_?

"OMAGOD! That's no apple tree, it's Whispy Woods!" shouted Kirby, who ducked behind a tree. "_Run, run for your LIVES!!"_ That was when Whispy woke up.

"_SNORT-COUGH-GAG,_ Uhhhgg, what the hell?" Whispy said after spewing out the blue jelly blob. "What the heck are you? Ugggghhhhh… and how long have you been in my mouth? Sweet Jesus, you taste like _Potatoes_! … and I _hate_ potatoes."

If Kirby had been in any mood to pick a fight, that would have done it. At the time, though, he was too busy looking for something that would give him a power.

"No rocks, no swords, no ice cubes, _nothing!_ Ohcrap ohcrap ohcrap…"

Gooey, who had seen what Whispy could do in a fight, prepared himself for battle. By this, I mean he started licking the tree. No, not like that; get your mind out of the gutter. Freak.

Shadow, on the other hand, calmly reached up and snatched some apples from one of the many low hanging branches. He waved at the tree, and dragged the others off in the direction of Dedede's castle. The tree stared, considered eating them all, remembered that they tasted like potatoes, and closed his eyes.

_Note to self_, he thought, _tell Dark Metaknight what just happened. He's lucky to have me around, with all the stuff that I've told him. Heh, Dedede doesn't suspect a thing!_ With that, the old tree promptly fell asleep.

"Well, that wasn't so hard, now, was it?" Shadow Kirby said as he happily munched on one of the gigantic apples he had picked. Kirby grabbed an apple and took a very small bite of it.

"Nope, it's not poisoned." He announced. "Now that I've demonstrated my invaluable poison-detecting skills, everyone please give me your apples, and I will… _test_ them for poison."

Instead, Kirby got two apple sized bumps on his head/body/face/omgwtfbbq. Kirby decided not to quit his day job.

It was not until the next day that they reached the castle. The doors had been locked. They looked for any way inside, but it seemed to the Kirbys and… the other thing that Dedede had stepped up his security measures. All windows and doors were padlocked, and there were several sword knights and blade knights outside the door.

The knights stood silently, stiff as boards. One glanced around him.

"Jed, Jed, is that a new guy?"

"Hmm… He looks strange… I don't think I've ever seen him before…"

"Lets see… he has a sword… He _must_ be one of us."

"Let's ask Jebediah. _Yo, Jebediah!"_

"Yeah Joe?"

"Jeff and I want to know: is that a new guy?"

"Who, short guy with the sword? He must be. Never seen him."

"Lets ask Jose. Jose?"

"Where's Jose?"

"I dunno, he's gone!"

"Jebediah, have you seen Jose? Jebediah?"

"Now where did he run off to?"

"I dunno. Do you want to ask the new guy, Joe? Joe? Hey, where did everybody go? _Hey new guy!_ Have you seen a bunch of blade knights? Uhh… new guy? WAIT, YOU'RE—GAAAAAAACK!"

_Hmmm_, thought Kirby, _that was more than a bit odd_.

The door to the castle was now clear of knights, and both Kirby, Shadow Kirby, and Gooey all had sword power. They kicked the door down, and stepped inside the castle.

It looked like someone had just left the castle. Footprints from the dirt road outside were everywhere. The Courtroom was trashed, with papers and valuables scattered everywhere. It looked as though a hasty search was conducted.

This was puzzling to the group, but they decided to explore the entire castle… something that Kirby had never been able to do before. He had always been too busy fighting Dedede to take the time and find his way around the castle.

First, he found the kitchen. Kirby had never been so happy with King Dedede in his life. "Sweet Jeebus, I've never been so happy with King Dedede in my life!" he proclaimed.

The Refrigerator was packed full of food… more than anyone in the group wanted to carry. They put it all in their mouth-pockets… which yes, they _do_ have.

_With King Dedede's stock of Hickory-smoked pizza decimated, a colony of bacteria slowly rose to power in the fridge. In a thousand years, they would take over the entire kitchen, and eventually the world. This first, and brave, group of Bacteria would be called the "A-squad", and their legend would be passed down by way of Flagellum for millions of eons._But that has nothing to do with our story.

The no-longer-quite-so-hungry trio left the kitchen, and followed Kirby to the room where he had been kept. It was the same as before, except one of the stones in the floor was pulled out of place to reveal a trapdoor. They traveled down the ladder… Into a laboratory.

As Kirby stepped off the ladder and joined the others who were already at the bottom, he examined the lab. There were tubes filled with green fluorescent fluid on racks surrounding the lab. These contained something that could change the fate of dream world forever…

But the adventurers were not looking at that. They were staring at the center of the room. Gooey put it into his own words:

"_IT'TH DARK METAKNIGHT!!!!!"_

_**TO BE CONTINUED!!!**_

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Kirby is © of Nintedo and Hal

Man, I'm having a blast writing this stuff. Any reviews would be appreciated!

I hope this chapter clears up some confusion you might be having.


	7. The end of bad: welcome to hell

Dark Metaknight stood motionless, watching the three heroes.

"so," he started, "You've finally come. I've been waiting for you ever since the_real _Metaknight left with that dunce master of his. You have no idea how good it feels to fight you again! Last time… Was a fluke, a mistake. I was not at my full power. Dark Mind had stolen my sword, and gave me a fake which was only able to split, and not destroy. Luckily, it was able to split dimensions, which is how I arrived here."

Dark Metaknight drew his sword from his sheath, the metal-on-metal causing spray of sparks. _No_, Kirby thought, _the sword itself is making the sparks!_

"When you defeated me in the Mirror World, you thought I was defeated for good. Actually, when you saw the portal that opened after my defeat, you assumed that it was there because I was dead. Actually, I fled, and Dark Mind opened the portal himself to fight you one-on-one."

Dark Metaknight's sword flared up, and the sparks became a single flame. Oh, and there was a _Fhwoosh!!_

"After Dark Mind was banished from the Mirror World, I was able to retrieve my sword…_Furyblaze_." He held the sword high in the air and twirled it about deftly. Kirby and his friends watched as the flames flared higher and became an aqua shade of blue.

Kirby was the first to recover from the initial shock. "Why did you kidnap me, and where is George? Was he really working for you all along?" he asked.

Dark Metaknight pulled the best smirk that he could with his mask on… it looked quite gruesome. Not quite evil, though; it looked more like he was in pain. Kirby stifled a smirk.

'Why should I tell you? You're about to die, and I wouldn't spoil a mystery like that! I know you're trying to get me to monologue, but I won't. Whenever a villain monologues, he ends up getting cut off before he can finish, and" _Wham!_

Dark Metaknight spun 180 degrees, and kicked Shadow Kirby in the face. "Trying to sneak up on me, eh? I thought so. I'm not as stupid as I look, unlike your little blue friend over- _ah, damn it_."

As you may have guessed, Gooey had disappeared. The Kirbys, on the other hand, were still present, each one drawing his sword. Shadow had managed to get back to Kirby's side of the room.

"Enough talk," Shadow said. "We're not getting anything out of you, so we might as well defeat you now. Enough of this stupid talking. Kirby, _Now!_" Both puffballs charged at Dark Metaknight, their swords drawn high in the air.

"This will be your final fight, Kirbys!" said Dark Metaknight. His sword's blue flame now crackled with pure energy. "Tonight… you dine in _HE_-"

"_NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!_" came a cry from behind the Kirbys, causing both of them to trip and fall flat on their faces. "_METAKNIGHT!! METAKNIGHT!! KIWBY THTOP!!_"

Gooey's head popped down from the ladder hole from which they had come. "_HE METAKNIGHT!! NO FIGHT!!_" Gooey articulated. Both Kirbys cursed in annoyance, gave Dark Metaknight the _Wait one more minute_ signal, and waddled over to Gooey.

"Gooey," Kirby pouted, "that's not Metaknight, that's _Dark_ Metaknight! He kidnapped me and somehow involved George in this! We _have_ to fight him if we want to get any answers to this mystery; that's how these things work. Besides, he started it!"

"No no Kiwby, not_that_ Metaknight, the _weaw _one!"

"What? Wheel Metaknight?"

"Weaw! _Weaw!_"

"Did Metaknight fall in a well?"

"_GOWDAMMIT!! WEEEAAAAWWWWW!_"

Kirby stared at Shadow in appuzzlementation. "I think he's trying to say that Metaknight bought a bicycle." Shadow nodded in agreement, and added "What kind do you think it is?"

"Umm… I'm still here, y'know…" Dark Metaknight said. No one cared, because everyone had just figured out what Gooey was trying to say.

The _real_ Metaknight dropped down through the ladder hole, followed by Dedede and his hammer.

"_Curses!_" Dark Metaknight cursed, "how did you know I was here?!?"

"We made a trip to your friend Whispy Woods." Metaknight answered. "That was really smooth, promising him a better paying job, with more vacation." He turned to the fat blue penguin. "Dedede, even _you_ should know that all trees fall victim to gullibility! Everyone learns that in, like, _3__rd__ grade_.

Both Kirbies and Gooey nodded in agreement. Dark Metaknight pouted in a corner. "_No one likes me… and I can't even cut myself with my sword without slicing my arm off… I hate being emo…_"

Metaknight pushed the Kirbies out of his way. "Move, Kirbies, this fight is _mine_." Metaknight drew his sword, which radiated with a vibrant yellow glow.

"Wait, Metaknight!" Kirby exclaimed, "Why was I kidnapped?!?"

"Kirby, you have _Potatitis_. You got it while you were in the Mirror World. In it's natural form, it is a very non contagious and inactive virus. You were captured, and a sample of the virus was taken from you. Dark Metaknight used the information that he gained from Whispy Woods to find this lab. Then, with the help of a waddle dee, badly disguised as George, he kidnapped you, and brought you here."

"Wait," Kirby interjected, "what do you mean, 'badly disguised'? He looked normal!"

"Kirby, George is not green."

"Oh yeah… please, continue!"

"Anyway, Dark Metaknight took a sample of the virus from you while you were sleeping. The green test tubes lining these walls are concentrated strains of the virus. Dark Metaknight mutated the virus to make it _very_ contagious, and twice as effective. If anyone contracts this new virus, Kirby, half the words that come out of their mouth would have to do with potatoes!"

_Gasp!_ Everyone gasped, except for the Metaknights, who already knew this. If _they_ gasped, it would just be stupid.

"He used the strains of the virus to create an antidote to it. With the antidote, he would be able to protect himself from what he was planning to do... Kirby, he was planning to infect the entire world of Popstar with Potatitis!"

"That's right!" Dark Metaknight interrupted, "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling… well, what the hell _are_ you guys, anyway?"

"Enough," Metaknight declared, "of this exposition! Imposter, I challenge you to a duel!"

"Well, my friend," DM replied, "I _would_, but my time is just about up. I'll be leaving soon, I do hope that you've had fun chasing me down for the past few days, but I've got things to take care of… like your little friend, Kirby."

"George! If the waddle dee that I saw wasn't George… _Where did you take George, you jerk!?_" Kirby shouted. He set his sword to Dark Metaknight's face, and charged.

Metaknight watched this scene unfold, his mind racing. _Something's not quite right here…_ then he saw it. Dark Metaknight was holding a little square box with a single button on it. _OH SHIT!!_

"_KIRBY! GET BACK, HE'S GOT A BOMB!!"_ Metaknight franticly shouted.

Too late. Kirby was already attacking. Shadow and Gooey watched in horror as Dark Metaknight held the detonator high in the air.

"_Time's up."_ He whispered, and he pressed the button.

That's when everything went straight to hell.

_TO BE CONTINUED_

**GET READY FOR PART TWO:**

**GEORGE **_  
_

* * *

Well,Kirby is in deep shit now. PLEASE REVIEW!

Thanks to FlamerExtinguesher for the cameo in his christmas special. Check his story out! OOC, but still lots of fun. Sadly, he's my inspiration for the whole story. Actually, it was just his character George. Anyway, it's a fun story, so check it out!


	8. Welcome to the Jungle

Hey guys, thanks for the reviews! _THREE!!!_ No, that wasn't sarcasm. I really appreciate your feedback! I would also like to thank FlamerExtinguisher for including me in a cameo during his Christmas special.

Hey, both of you guys who reviewed? You rock. _Imitates hi-five._

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**PART TWO:**

GEORGE 

George woke up, rubbed his eyes, and stepped out of bed. He stumbled to the bathroom and took a hot shower. After a quick breakfast, he checked on Kirby, who was still asleep.

_Freakin' freeloader… All he does is eat and sleep! Gah, it makes me mad sometimes!_ George thought. _Oh well… I guess he deserves some rest…_

Now George felt a bit guilty. After all, it _was_ Kirby who had saved the mirror world less than a month ago; it was only fair that he got a little rest. Unfortunately for George, a "little rest" meant staying in bed sleeping for days at a time.

George opened the door, and stepped outside. He started his daily walk to the King's castle, where he worked. Today, he had relaxation duty. No, his job was not to relax; he would be Dedede's footrest. All day.

_KHA-PHWOOOOOSSSHHHH!!!!_

The ground shook violently, and George was sent flying off the road into a ditch, where he landed with a thud. He jumped to his feet, and peered out of the ditch to see… the _Halberd_?

Metaknight's starship had landed dangerously close to George's house! _I didn't know Metaknight was stopping for a visit!_ George thought.

_Wait…_ George's mind was racing. _Something isn't right here, I just know it! But what…?_

After a moment more of thought, he realized that the ship was in grayscale. "Dark Metaknight!" George exhaled.

Indeed, as the hatch doors opened George could see Dark Metaknight himself staring at the house. Behind him was something that George couldn't see, but it was apparently agitated. The thing twitched and flailed nonstop, as if it were trying to free itself of a net.

Suddenly, Dark Metaknight looked up, alarmed. He raced out of view taking the agitated figure with him. A few seconds later, George heard a _ping_, and the ship vanished into thin air!

_What in the name of Jeebus just happened?_ George wondered, bewildered. He turned his eyes to the direction that Dark Metaknight had looked, and now saw a dark dot in the sky. The thing got closer and bigger, and George recognized it as the _Halberd_, but the _real_ one this time.

It hovered above Kirby's house for a moment, then set down in the dirt road. Metaknight sprinted out, and, with his cape transforming into wings, he flew up to Kirby's window. He looked inside, and then jumped back to the ground. He seemed relieved.

Metaknight jogged back to his ship, which took off back towards… wherever Metaknight docked his ship. Only Kirby, Dedede, and the Meta Knights knew where that was.

George was still trying to make sense of this strange scene, when a purple orb appeared beside Kirby's house. The orb crackled with electricity, and with a fizz and a _crack!_ Dark Metaknight's ship reappeared outside of Kirby's house.

Now, Dark Metaknight stepped out into the yard of the house, carrying the struggling creature with him. Now, George could see that the thing was a Waddle Dee ensnared in a net!

George watched in horror as Dark Metaknight summoned a Droppy (A small creature that absorbs powers by running into other things, a bit like Kirby's copy ability) from inside the ship. The droppy leapt at the waddle dee… to become its carbon copy! Well, almost a perfect copy… The fake dee was green.

Both Dark Metaknight and the droppy went inside George's house.

George had to think quickly. _What would Kirby do?_ He thought. _Oh, right… he would eat stuff. Hmm…_ Suddenly, George had an idea. Then, he had a better idea, which didn't involve dancing snowmen and a truck of apples.

He ran straight into Dark Metaknight's ship.

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Kirby and all related stuffs are © of Nintendo. Peace out to all my homies in Japan.


	9. Potatoes and the plot thickens

Hey, you guys that reviewed… I might just have a –cough- _cameo_ –cough- eventually… don't cross your fingers… maybe.  
Also, I had an awesome idea: this story needs a soundtrack!

Kirby's theme: theme: Metaknight: anyone has any better ideas… LET ME KNOW! In a review… or a PM.

* * *

George felt a whoosh of air when the hatch door closed behind him. He turned around, frantic. _I need an escape route!_ He thought. The door had no buttons, levers, pulleys or switches. _Well… crappit._

George looked out the porthole at his house, and saw Metaknight and the droppy walking out of the front door, each sharing the weight of a large sack. George wasted no time; he ran as fast as he could down the pathways of the _Dark Halberd_.

"Great," he muttered, "not only do I have no clue what's going on, I'm lost. Darn you, Kirby, you're a freaking _trouble magnet_!" He slowed his pace to a walk, and proceeded to wander around the interior of the ship.

After a time (he couldn't tell how long, since watches seemed to slip off his little stubby arms easily, and he had given up wearing them and just fed them to Kirby. Kirby then became alarm clock Kirby, and insisted on playing Jeopardy all day long, with Kirby pretending to be the buzzer. Kirby would ring as loud as he could whenever George smacked him. George had never been able to tell who had more fun…)

ahem!

After a time (blarg blarg blarg) he stumbled into what looked like a cargo bay, filled with boxes. Now, waddle dees are not normally very curious, but George was not a normal waddle dee. Over the years that he and Kirby had traveled together, he found that in order to be helpful, he would have to look around for things that might benefit the party of adventurers.

He fondly remembered the time he had found a large wooden box, and used it as a sled to help Kirby when he was on his quest to fight against the Dark Matter a second time.

Besides, George liked boxes.

"Oh boy, boxes!" he exclaimed happily, "I like boxes!" He ran into the cargo bay, and was ready to look inside every box for shiny things (yes, Kirby is a horrible influence on George), when he heard a noise behind him.

"Quick! Come with me into the cargo bay!" came an excited whisper from the doorway, which George recognized to be Dark Metaknight's. George gulped, and dived into the nearest box. He closed the top, and sat in darkness, looking through a hole in the side for the evil knight.

Dark Metaknight and the green waddle dee ran into the room, carrying the large brown bag with them. Dark Metaknight dumped the bag's contents onto the floor to reveal… Kirby!

_Kirby? What the heebidy-jeebidies is going _on_ here?!?_

The green dee took a syringe, and plunged it into Kirby's mouth. George gasped.

"_Gasp!"_

The green dee took the syringe out, and tapped it once with his finger. A single droplet of dull green liquid flew into the air, and touched the metal floor of the ship with a _plip_. Dark Metaknight covered his face with his cape, and Green Dee turned away and covered his mouth. The droplet hit the metal with a hiss, and a strange smell floated into the air… it almost smelled like… Irish people?

It was at that time that George realized he was sitting in a box of potatoes. He would have gasped again, but each gasp has a cool-down period of about two minutes, and because he didn't wear a watch (because blargle flargle jibbity nuffcakes) he couldn't tell how long it had been.

_Could that be,_ thought George, his mind racing, _the Potatitis virus? What is Dark Metaknight planning on doing with that?_

Dark Metaknight and green dee took a few more tubes of the virus from Kirby, and walked out the door. Before they turned down into the hallway, Dark Metaknight paused and said,

"His majesty will be pleased with this… the virus is the first step in his most magnificent plan! Once Popstar is infected, the universe is ours!"

_His majesty? _George gulped:

_Uh oh._

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Kirby is © of Nintendo and Hal Labs. Props, yo.

Next chapter: OMG IZ T3H ACTION!

In other news:

D00d, Im in ur Ford, PWNing ur linkons


	10. The plot stops thickening

As soon as they were gone, George jumped out of the box, creating a small landslide of Irish veal (potatoes). He ran over to Kirby, and saw that he was still breathing. He looked for any signs of drugs, then decided that Dark Metaknight didn't need any help keeping Kirby asleep. George recalled the hours he had spent hitting Kirby with a shovel in a futile effort to wake him up.

George knew that if he helped Kirby now, his presence would be made known to Dark Metaknight and he would lose the opportunity to gather valuable information. With a half-hearted feeling of pity, he tossed a potato at Kirby, who promptly swallowed it without batting an eye. George half-heartedly hoped he didn't choke to death.

George slowly slipped silently into the into the hallway. When he had been wandering around the ship earlier he hadn't had time to examine the structure of the walls, but now he found them quite fascinating.

The walls were made of metal, each flowing in a frenzy of clicking levers and gears. Lights flashed, dials whirred, kablizzles kablizzled (and the shnozberries tasted like shnozberries!) in a frantic, endless cycle. There was a large glass window on one side of the room. A row of labeled buttons lined one corner.

_Maybe I can learn something from this…_ George reasoned. He held his stubby arm up, and reached for a button labeled "If you are a Waddle dee whose name is George, push this button."

He stopped an inch from the button, sensing that something was terribly amiss. He looked around for danger, and gasped as he saw…

_A PENNY!_

With the Honest Abe safely secured in George's, uhh… pocket, he now turned his full attention to the button.

He pressed it.

He waited for about ten seconds, looked around, and saw that nothing was happening. No lights flashed, no sounds sounded… nothing. George was about to walk away when…

"_Hey, buddy, did ya press dat button?"_

George spun around, hoping to see the speaker behind him, but there was no one there.

"_C'mon, own up buddy, ya did, didn't ya?_" Came the whisper.

George spun again, seeing nothing. He put his back against the wall, and looked everwhere.

"_No buddy, I'm not ovah there."_

George reeled, and saw something ghastly: (THERE WAS A HEADCRAB ON GORDON FREEMAN!) A thin wisp of smoke was trailing out of Kirby's mouth, and about one inch above his mouth/body/stomach/entirety, it formed a face! George put on his "startled!" face, as a large anime sweatdrop appeared on his forehead.

"_Hiya, pal. My name is Potatitis… And I'z got a message ta tell ya._"

TO BE CONTINU-

Wait, no.

"OHGODOHGOD WHAT IS THAT THIyou have a message?" George went from panic to lackadaisical-ness very quickly. "What is it? And… Wait, aren't you some weird disease from Mirror World? Why are you made of smoke? Why are you in Kirby's moOH GOD he has the virus, doesn't he? OH GEEZ, am I infected? Oh man, I need to see a-"

"_QUIET DOWN! Ya, he gots me. An' I AM a virus. Woop da doo. EVERYBODY gotta say dat. Yu'z be fine… UNLESS that mean-ass mutha effa gunna take dat fawmyula_(formula)_ an' infec' alla popsta' wit' me!_"

"What? Why would he do that? Wait… If everyone is obsessing over potatoes… OH GOD! THE GOAL IS WIDE OPEN! DARK METAKNIGHT CAN TAKE THE SHOT!"

"_That… was da' woist spawts analogy I'z eva heard. Anyway, so ya don't get confused, I wancha ta stop 'im. Why? Cuz Koiby ova heah feeds me. I got no desire ta leave, or spread. I'm fine right heah. An he gonna spread me all ova da place!_"

"Gasp! I must stop him at once!" George said, and dashed out of the room. Potatitis watched as he sprinted past the entrance, but in an opposite direction. "THAT WAY IS A COAT CLOSET! I KNEW THAT!" he shouted a bit too loud and unconvincingly.

George had all but forgotten Kirby at the moment. As he left, the Potatitis virus gave an evil chuckle and- Oh wait, no he didn't. AS IF WE DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH CONFUSING SH*T IN THIS PLOT! Potatitis slunk back into Kirbster's mouth, and fell asleep.

George had all but forgotten about Kirby, that idiot.

TO BE CONTINUED! (Fo' Reals this time!)

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Kirby is (c) Nintendo, yadda yadda.

Oh wow. it's been over a year since the last update. Over a year and a month, infact.

Jeez.

Well, I figured I'd better start giving this story some closure. For those of you who've been checking your emails EVERY DAY IN DESPERATE HOPE I'D FINISH THE STORY, well, it paid off.

Hooray for Kirby.

And yes, closure WILL happen. Pinky-swear. (fingers crossed? I dunno.)

Finally, for the bonus round, let's play WHO CAN SPOT THE PRIVATE JOKE?

( +5 points )


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